Midnight Mouse Hunt

All right, so this doesn’t have a thing to do with writing other than the fact that it demonstrates my storytelling acumen (which is the opposite of acu-women) and it ought to give you a STRONG hint to rush out and buy about 6 or 12 of my books.
🙂

This popped up on my Facebook Memories from a year ago. I call it MIDNIGHT MOUSE HUNT.

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So it’s 10:30pm and I’m just finishing up in the washroom before curling up with a book and I hear this tiny scuttling.

A mouse scampered out.

Fortunately, the bathroom door was closed and the light in the bathroom is very bright. I seized the handle of the plunger and began chasing the mouse through the bathroom.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Up the vanity.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Around the sink.

THUD! THUD! THUD!

Into the towel hamper beside the sink.

Then I carefully fished the towels out one by one while my wife Belinda Ferguson, awakened from a deep sleep by a mysterious thumping and banging was wondering if her husband was having some sort of a seizure behind the bathroom door.

“DON’T COME IN!” I calmly shouted.

Three face cloths left in the hamper and I began playing a rousing game of three-face-cloth-mousie in the bottom of the hamper as the mouse ran from underneath one face cloth to underneath another face cloth – and Monty Hall was nowhere in sight.

BANG! THUD! BANG!

The last bang ALMOST got him except he bounced out of the hamper, flew through the air and landed in the heap of towels that I had scattered on the floor.

THUD! BANG! THUD!

I calmly and coolly hyperventilated just a little as I gingerly fished each towel up off the floor and shook it a little before dropping it into the hamper.

Finally I nailed the little bastard.

“GOT HIM!” I shouted.

“Are you dead yet?” My wife asked. “Should I dial 911?”

I covered the mouse up with some paper towel and said a few holy words to go along with the unholy words I had been muttering in amongst all of that thumping and banging and then I carried the mouse outside and dropped his carcass at the end of the sidewalk where the crows come to feed every morning.

“Go back to bed,” I told my wife. “The crisis is over. Your man is a mighty hunter.”

🙂

 

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

Hysterical Fiction

When writing historical fiction, we are under pressure to ‘get it right,’ but how accurate is the history we are using? And what’s the difference between history and historical fiction? Put simply,…

Source: Hysterical Fiction

Gallery

Give Anthologies a Chance!

This gallery contains 3 photos.

Originally posted on Writing Wicket:
(This post first appeared on Val Muller’s Blog on August 31, 2016.) Give Anthologies a Chance! I’ll be honest: anthologies aren’t a great sell, perhaps rated just above poetry collections, yet I think shorts are wonderful to…

Terraforming [Creating my fictional world]

Jack Rollins - Bringer of Fear

As I work on the Carsun book, I need a strong sense of place in order for the story to work. Tilwick was always meant to be a town, with laws, rules and religious factions of its own, but my ambitions have grown somewhat over the years and having the town of Tilwick alone is not enough. In order for some of the plans I have to work, Tilwick needs to be more of a district, with a main town – Tilwick itself – and fishing villages, mining communities etc dotted around it. How best to keep track of all this? Well, how do you find your way around anywhere?

Google Maps, of course!

With some nifty use of the snipping tool on my PC (in case you don’t know, it’s probably on yours too, and it’s way better than just taking screenshots), I can manipulate fragments of maps to create a…

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The difference between paranormal romance and urban fantasy

I’m just in the process of writing a brand new blog entry of my own – but for now, why don’t you read this one? I’ve been wondering myself what the difference was. Read and grow wise.

Steve

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Urban fantasy and paranormal romance are genre names. They help bookstores and websites know where to shelve titles. They give readers a broad shopping label. But under the hood, they tend to cross…

Source: The difference between paranormal romance and urban fantasy

ANDY PELOQUIN – A Book Lover Turned Author

 

Andy Peloquin asked me to let you folks know about his brand new book launch.

“Great,” I said. “Where do I swing the bottle of champagne?”

“Steve,” Andy said. “It’s a book launch. NOT a boat launch. You swing a bottle of champagne at a book and all you are going to wind up with are a handful of soggy pages.”

“I knew that,” I replied, noting to myself that I really ought to write a book around that title – “A Handful of Soggy Pages”.

Maybe call it a pulp novel.

🙂

All right, so enough with the jokes.

Let me tell you about the book first.

The book is called LAMENT OF THE FALLEN. It is Book 2 of THE LAST BUCELARII series.

I know that right now you are thinking to yourself, “Oh hell, now I have to go off and buy Book 1 of the series.”

Wrong.

Andy Peloquin is giving away book #1 right now over at Amazon.com!

Get it. It’s free – but only for the weekend, so grab it right now. Don’t fart around. Don’t read a single syllable more from this blog entry before you hit that link and that grab that free book. Tell Jeff Bezos I sent you.

Let me tell you a bit about LAMENT OF THE FALLEN.

Book Blurb:

The Last Bucelarii (Book 2): Lament of the Fallen

The Hunter of Voramis is no more.

Alone with the bloodthirsty voices in his head, fleeing the pain of loss, he has one objective: travel north to find Her, the mystery woman who plagues his dreams and haunts his memories.

When he stumbles upon a bandit attack, something within urges him to help. His actions set him at odds with the warrior priests commanded to hunt down the Bucelarii.

Left for dead, the Hunter must travel to Malandria to recover his stolen birthright. There, he is inexorably drawn into direct conflict with the Order of Midas, the faceless, nameless group of magicians that holds the city in a grip of terror. All while struggling to silence the ever-louder voice in his mind that drives him to kill.

From feared assassin to wretched outcast, the Hunter’s journey leads him to truths about his forgotten past and the Abiarazi he has pledged to hunt. His discoveries will shed light on who he really is…what he really is.

Fans of Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson, and Brent Weeks will love the Hunter…

 

Book Info:

Title: The Last Bucelarii (Book 2): Lament of the Fallen

Author: Andy Peloquin

Official Launch Date: August 19th, 2016

Publication Date: July 21, 2016

Paperback Price: 15.99

Digital Price: 3.99

Pages: 340

ISBN: 1535388668

Book 2 Buy Links:

Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Bucelarii-Book-Lament-Fallen-ebook/dp/B01JJ5CKOU/

Amazon Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Last-Bucelarii-Book-Lament-Fallen/dp/1535388668/

Amazon Canada: https://www.amazon.ca/Last-Bucelarii-Book-Lament-Fallen-ebook/dp/B01JJ5CKOU/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30973111-lament-of-the-fallen

 

Book Launch Event:

https://www.facebook.com/events/1756560507952924/

Join Andy’s Thunderclap:  https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/44830-the-hunter-rides-again

 

All right – so will you enjoy these books?

Well, do you like Michael Moorcock? How about Karl Edward Wagner? I’m talking dark, moody, brutal and nasty, hungover with a really bad taste fur-balling in your mouth. Assassins and cursed blades and angst-ridden heroes, whupping ass all over the place. Think Game of Thrones, without scruples or manners.

If you’ve said yes to all of these questions then you REALLY ought to try this series out.

LAMENT OF THE FALLEN

Yours in Storytelling,

Steve Vernon

I dreamed of being Hemingway​,​ but ended up a pulp fiction writer

From author Christopher Farnsworth via The New York Post: The book sat on the shelf of the third-grade classroom. I wasn’t supposed to be there. I was a second-grader, and I’d been herded into the …

Source: I dreamed of being Hemingway​,​ but ended up a pulp fiction writer