PET SEMATARY (2019) – A Review

Okay, so I watched PET SEMATARY (2019) and I wasn’t all that impressed. The visuals were pretty cool and it did go places where a creepy horror movie ought to go, but as a retelling of the novel and a reboot of the 1989 flick, it really sucked out loud.

First problem was the casting. Lithgow did a solid job and it isn’t his fault that he had to stand in Fred Gwynne’s shadow but he just didn’t have that ominous mixture of good and evil that Gwynne portrayed. I mean Gwynne could be creepy when he wanted to be. I loved him as Herman Munster, but his role in PET SEMATARY (1989) as well as in MY COUSIN VINNY (1992) were amazing for such lightweight flicks. I know that he did an awful lot of theatre in his later years, but I wish he’d showed up in a few more movies.

The Dad kind of looked like a wanna-be Bill Pullman, wearing a Quentin Tarantino mask made out of seriously-melting Silly Putty. The wife – well, she didn’t have all that much to rise to, standing in the I-can’t-act-for-shit shadow of Denise Crosby – but she still left me feeling totally underwhelmed.

Speaking of masks, the use of animal masks in the new movie seemed like a wasted chance. I mean, with all of these local kids wearing masks and following the Pet Semetary rules of burial like they were, it would made better sense to turn it into something along the lines of VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED or THE WICKER MAN (the Chris Lee original, not that freaking ham-on-cheap-crack version that Nick Cage tried to pull off).

I had the same sort of issue with the latest Stephen King Netflix movie, IN THE TALL GRASS. I had really been looking forward to that one, but it just gave me a hernia of the brain. I mean, the whole thing was steeped in the juices of pure undiluted WTF pointlessness.

So, in hindsight, I’m glad I watched PET SEMETARY (2019) and I’m glad I didn’t actually pay any money for it, unless I forget to return it to the library on time. I still aim to sit down some time soon and watch PET SEMETARY 2 on Amazon Prime.

What can I tell you?

I am a glutton for horror flicks.

 

Yours in Storytelling,

 

Steve Vernon

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