Duct Tape Can Fix Anything

All right – new book or not, I still have to go to work at the day job. I spent most of the morning farting around on lining up some future e-book promotions – although I did make one awesome accomplishment.
There has been a pair of gigantic sneakers, maybe about size thirteen or so, hanging on the telephone line outside our house. I am not talking about ordinary sneakers, you understand. These were so damn gaudy they could have passed for clown shoes.
They’ve been up there for over three months. My wife keeps looking at them and getting bummed out and depressed. I just thought they were funny but she was upset and by god I was going to save the day.
I grabbed me a two by four and duct taped a one by three to the end of it and reached it up, teetering and threatening to electrocute myself at any point in time, and I managed to push the end of that one by three up under the sole of one of those gynormous clown shoes and I give just enough of a lift to flip it over the wire.
I left the shoes draped over the garbage that are waiting to be hauled out to the curb tonight for garbage day tomorrow, right where she’ll see it walking in from work tonight. I phoned her up at work and I told her “Whatever you do tonight, remember that duct tape can fix any problem.”
Then I laid the two by four with the duct taped one by three right where she would see it as well. Remember – no matter what sort of problem you are facing – whether it is dangling clown shoes or a seriously damaged psychic wound or that fellow on the bus who just won’t stop talking – always remember, duct tape can fix anything.
Yours in storytelling,
Steve Vernon

4 responses to “Duct Tape Can Fix Anything

  1. Duct tape *is* a wonder. I am bothered by the shoes I see flung over wires, too. I always picture some poor kid left to walk home shoeless, in slushy weather. I kind of wish you had taken a picture of your particular clown shoes. They sound unique.


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