Every year for Valentine’s Day Maritime author A.F. Stewart hosts a BLOODY VALENTINE event gathering an assortment of slightly twisted authors who post their fiction and/or poetry all in the name of celebrating love.
This year’s theme is BAD LOVE.
I am taking part in this event and will be posting a piece of short fiction.
And a recipe…
COME and join the BLOODY VALENTINE HORROR EVENT!
I have marinated the meat in the best red wine I could afford, five days now, with garlic onion and bay leaf and a little stick of cinnamon, lots of cracked black pepper, and lots of aching tears.
On the fifth day I rubbed it with olive oil and browned it well in a hot pan. I kissed it for luck.
Crane was right, it tasted bitter.
I carried the meat ceremoniously to a black metal roasting pan that I had beaten with a hammer into the rough shape of a coffin. I browned a sliced onion in the pan, added more tears, and a little butter for flavor.
Then I deglazed the fry pan with a bit of the marinade, stirring and scraping the caked-on bits from the pan, swilling it into the juice for more flavor.
I poured the contents into the coffin-roaster, covering the meat just a little over half way. I stuck the coffin-roaster into a slow oven, set to three hundred degrees. Nice and slow, everything took time, let the hurting leak on out.
I added the insecticide last.
I served the meal in a valentine shaped bowl, bought especially for the occasion. I set her body in her chair across the table from me. The freezer kept her when I could not. Her chest hung open like a secret treasure box. She had a smile on her face. I’d placed it there, a finishing touch before placing her in the freezer.
Then I spooned it up. Bitter, it tasted bitter, but no worse than finding your wife in bed with your best friend.
Heart meat is hard, unless you cook it properly.
I ate it up, every last drop.
I bit my lip until the gag reflex stopped working, and then I waited to die.
If I had timed it right, they would find us together before she thawed. A frozen tableau, two hearts, one broken in my chest and one well braised in my belly.
Well done. Well done.
This story, HARD SOUP, appears in my e-book collection of dark love stories BAD VALENTINES TWO – which is available today on Kindle for only 99 cents.
BUT – just because I love you – why don’t you pick up a free digital copy of my e-book BAD VALENTINES: THREE TWISTED LOVE STORIES today only on Kindle!
PLEASE HELP ME win a Kindle Scout publishing contract by nominating my book and you can earn a FREE Kindle copy of my newest novel KELPIE DREAMS if the book is selected.
Wow – that’s three PSA’s (Public STEVE-VERNON Announcements) in a row. I think that might be a world record!
yours in storytelling,
Well done for sure! Very good. Enjoy Valentine’s Day with your sweetheart!!
You bet. We already spent a long romantic evening last night watching VIKINGS and roasting marshmallows over the fireplace.
Sounds great! Do you get Beowulf over there? You would love it. Hubby took me out for a nice lunch at The White Rose Tea Room, in Spain. A bit of both worlds!
We’re on a tight budget this year – so we stayed to home. Besides that it is cold and nasty out there. I just got in from shoveling snow. Haven’t heard of the series BEOWULF – but I’ll keep an eye out.
Thank you for your lovely gift. My husband forgot about Valentine’s Day. He more than made up for it when he baked me some sugar-free apple and cherry turnovers. They were delicious. I’m almost ready for a second serving. 🙂
“The freezer kept her when I could not.” Oh, THAT was well done, right there. Good job 🙂
Great story. Best line: Bitter, it tasted bitter, but no worse than finding your wife in bed with your best friend. Love it 🙂