A book signing is what you make of it!

I just got back from my book signing at the Scotia Square Coles outlet – and it was a good signing and a bad one – and I’ll tell you why.

For starters, it was a fine and sunny day.

Unfortunately, that is NOT optimal book signing weather. For a good book signing you want to have somewhat gray weather. Drizzly is even better. Not pouring down hard enough to keep folks at home – but just dank and drizzly to make them itchy for the malls and – more important – for the bookstores.

So when I set out this morning I knew that it wasn’t going to be a good book signing.

Now I could have moped around and complained to whoever would listen – and how many people are out there in the world who really want to listen to some old fart writer moping and groaning about how there wasn’t enough people out there to buy his books.

Answer – not many.

So I started planning on how I was going to make this a GOOD book signing.

Well – it was sunny so right away I planned an avenue of approach that would lead me past the Bud The Spud french fry truck.

Right off the bat things started to look a little cheerier.

I hadn’t had any street fries for several months and it was the absolute perfect day for it.

Let’s get a little closer look here, shall we?

That’s what I’m talking about.

Fresh greasy french fries splashed with vinegar and a vigorous shaking of salt.

Then I slowly ambled towards Scotia Square, nibbling away at my french fries, smiling amiably at those folks who walked by me drooling on the sidewalk pavement wishing that they were big enough to take those Bud the Spud french fries away from me.

Somebody could have, I suppose – but I would not recommend trying it.

I am awfully protective about my french fries.

The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been a bottle of good root beer – or maybe some cold Dr. Pepper – but I knew that I had other refreshments in mind.

I got to the bookstore and the first thing the bookstore clerk asked me was if I wanted a coffee.

“Coffee is always good,” I told her. “Bring it to me, black and hot.”

“Do you want Starbucks or Tim Horton’s?” she asked.

“Tim Horton’s doesn’t make coffee,” I replied.

(and if there are any Tim Horton’s fans out there I apologize – but I have always found that their coffee was bitter with a funky weird chicken soup aftertaste that I never learned to care for)

“Vene, vidi, or vici?” she asked me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I like Starbucks coffee but I have never learned to speak their language. Just tell them to put it in a bucket and I’ll be a happy writer.”

She came back with her bucket of Starbuck’s dark roasted coffee and I sat there and happily sipped on it while doing my best to look like some beacon of book-buying splendor.

I’m not saying it was easy.

First customer came up to me said that she was looking for a book for her uncle.

“He retired this year,” she said. “And he is driving my aunt crazy. I want to buy him a book but he doesn’t read novels. He has no patience for long distance – when it comes to reading he is strictly a sprinter.”

“You are looking for a potato chip read,” I said. “Something with stories that he can crunch up.”

“I am looking for bathroom reading,” she said. “Something to pass the time between the squat and the flush.”

All right – so I am embellishing this dialogue somewhat.

I am a writer, after all. People pay me to make stuff up.

🙂

She bought him a copy of MARITIME MURDER.

If you click this picture it will take you the Kindle version of MARITIME MURDER. It is also available in Kobo, Nook or honest-to-Moses paperback. I’d put up a clickable picture for each of them but I have taken a sacred vow to help preserve our virtual forests and to abstain from over-spamming this blog page.

I wound up selling about three or four books.

I lost count along the way.

Then I signed the rest of my books at my table and headed home. The sun was still shining so I walked from Scotia Square to my home which is just off Mumford. Probably took me an hour – but I stopped at Staples on the way home – which is a writer’s version of a strip club.

The sun was shining. I grinned at a dog or two. I felt good walking home, maybe even burning off one or two of those street fries. I even felt good about knowing that I had helped ease that aunt’s sanity by giving her recently-retired husband some good and honest bathroom reading.

That’s how you make a bad book signing into a good one.

In fact, that is how you turn a bad ANYTHING into something good.

You’ve just got to learn how to grin at it, is all.

Never mind staring at the shadows in life – get out there and focus on the sunshine.

Life is too good to be wasted moping around.

yours in storytelling

Steve Vernon

 

Kobo Discount Promo Code – Grab it Now!

If you are like me you look for the sales flyers in the newspaper every week.

“What are you cooking for the weekend?” your kids will ask.

“Wait and see,” you will reply – but in the back of your mind you are thinking that it will all depend on whether pork, beef or chicken is on sale.

If not, there is always Hamburger Helper.

😦

All right – so I took a shot at Hamburger Helper for the sake of a giggle – but l have to admit that I actually like the stuff. It isn’t fancy and it isn’t healthy but you throw some ketchup on that and I am in pig heaven!!!

Well Kobo doesn’t sell pork chops – but they are offering a deep discount thirty percent off of my full length horror novel TATTERDEMON running from May 15 to May 22 in the USA, the UK and AUSTRALIA and from May 20-30 here in CANADA.

All that you have to do is to swing on over to your Kobo site and pull up this thunderously huge page full of sales books!!!

(The Writer Store was having a big sale on exclamation points so I thought I’d stock up!!!)

Then – after you’ve clicked BUY NOW it will take you to the Checkout screen where you can add the Promo Code to save 30 percent.

The promo code is – stockup30

Simple as that.

And hey – did you also realize that you can use PAYPAL on your Kobo order? It gives you this option when you first set up your Kobo customer account – BUT, if you have already set up your account just hit that EDIT INFO tab and add your PayPal.

Now that is an advantage that KOBO really ought to brag about. Amazon has dragged their heels on getting hooked up with Paypal – primarily I expect Paypal is owned by E-Bay. Personally, I’m a little surprised that Amazon hasn’t tried to buy PayPal – but maybe they have and just never told me about it.

🙂

In any case – use that promo code to buy the TATTERDEMON omnibus for 30% off and I will come and jump up and down upon your front lawn singing Zippadeedoodaw-Zippadeeay.

OR

You can use that Kobo promo code to buy yourself a copy of UNCLE BOB’S RED FLANNEL BIBLE CAMP – FROM BABEL TO THE BULLRUSHES for 30 percent off right now and I will likewise come and jump up and down upon your front lawn singing Zippadeedoodaw-Zippadeeay.

OR

You can buy both of them using that thirty percent off promo code and I promise NOT to come and sing.

Now that’s a bargain if I ever heard one!

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon