The Genetic Limitations of Manhood

Have you ever wondered about men?

Have you ever wondered why we all seem to think that we’ve actually got a shot at the prom queen – no matter how much our physical self seems to actually be a salute to the inevitable effects of gravity and a rapidly-shrinking belt?

Uncle Bob Author Shots 003

We fellows are genetically constructed that way. A lady smiles at us and all of a sudden it’s “Oh. She likes us, she wants us, I’m going to score tonight, good golly yowza!” A lady squints over a bit of windblown grittle that has spilled into her eye and sort of halway-almost-kind-of smiles at us and all of a sudden it’s “Oh. She likes us. She wants us. Good golly yowza!”

It is sad but true.

All of us – man and boy – will find ourselves sooner or later standing in the bathroom making muscles in the mirror and singing into our hairbrush – “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, I’m too darned sexy…”

When we really ought to be singing something more along the lines of this little ditty…

I’m afraid that it’s biological.

We males have been built by nature to go forth and multiply – and we all think that our pocket calculator is WAY bigger than yours – when sadly it’s just a little bit faster is all.

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

PS – the above post started out as a a reply to an author-friend of mine who was wondering on Facebook why a good friend of hers had suddenly decided to start talking about his…um…libido to her in the middle of what had started out as a perfectly innocent gab.

Fellas – DO NOT USE the word “libido” in any attempted passes. I’m sorry. It’s just way too Latin a noun to be used even indirectly. You’d have a lot more luck grinning at her while woggling your eyebrows up-and-down wildly and making Daffy Duck woo-woo sounds in her general direction.

A little chest-thumping and orangutang noises doesn’t hurt either…

Advertisements

2 responses to “The Genetic Limitations of Manhood

  1. At my age and gravity ridden state, the woman having a white stick and a guide dog doesn’t hurt my chances too much provided the dog doesn’t snarl the minute I smile and pat down the few hairs I have left.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s