How a Writer Visits a School

I’ve got a Hackmatack school visit today – a double header.

I’m travelling to the South Shore to visit with the kids at the Newcombville Elementary School and the North Queens Community School in Caledonia.

I’ve already had breakfast – a pan full of fried mushrooms, a couple of eggs, two slices of ancient grains toast accompanied by one slice of whole wheat organic ham – (I swear, it’s the high-vitamin calorie-free ham) – one large mug of black coffee and two small chocolate bunnies.

I’m ready to roar!

Kizzy and book 008


So what all do I do in a school visit?

Well, I start out by telling them how I got started as a storyteller – back when I was about three years old, growing up in Northern Ontario. Then I go on to tell them how about my first day at school and how being a good storyteller actually saved my life.

Then I tell them the very first story ever told in the world – a touching yarn called “Caveman Steve and the Mammoth”.

Then I tell them about the story tree and how every story in the world has the same basic shape – just like a tree.

Then I tell them about choosing a voice. I tell them about homework and teachers and flame throwers. Then I commence to tell them about business men and bandit queens…

(Have you got all this so far? Should I talk slower?)

Then I tell them about good luck and bad luck.

Wild horses, stallion kung-fu and more bandits, please.

Then – I wind it all up with a capital-G GHOST STORY.

Or, if the kids are younger than I just tell them a small-g ghost story.

All of this in one hour flat or forty-five minutes if I talk fast – with a little time left over for questions and answers.

If you liked what you read then send $89.95 plus tax and handling to Steve Vernon, Incorporate and ask for my 20 dvd collection of how to tell a good story. You send me the money in unmarked bills and I’ll throw in a free set of ginsu knives – only slightly used, four or five hundred times.

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon


One response to “How a Writer Visits a School

  1. Sounds great. I’ve never tried it. But I do intend to, at some point.




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