That Big Old T-Bird, Sailing Into Forever – January 30, 2005

THAT BIG OLD T-BIRD, SAILING INTO FOREVER…
The other I day I picked up a DVD of THELMA & LOUISE from the 6 buck bin at Walmart. Sat down and watched it with my wife tonight. Man, I’ve seen the movie several times before, but by the time they get to the canyon I just want them to get away so badly, I see that big old T-Bird sailing into forever, and I want to shout “FLY!”. What a great movie. Two great characters, on the road, the broken-hearted bluesman Michael Madsen, a great soundtrack, a bouncing baby Brad Pitt (my wife’s favorite part of the movie), Harvey Keitel as the only guy who really gets the two desparadoes. Let your freak flag fly, ladies. Go wild, sleep with Brad Pitt, (or better yet don’t sleep), rob a country store, shoot a rapist and pyro-ballistic a tin-can tanker truck into ashy cremains.

* * *

It was warmer today, which is an awfully relative way to look at the temperature. I was still blessing by bunny furred balaclava. Makes me look like a Russian Elmer Fudd, but keeps the radar dishes of my ears nicely un-frostbitten.

How cold was it? Let me quote you a couple of statistics. Bear in mind I’m quoting Celsius, folks. If you want to compare that to Fahrenheit, ask Jeeves. Or Google. Or look it up in an encyclopedia.

2 to 3 Celsius is the average temperature inside a refrigerator.

-10 C to -20 C is the average temperature inside a household freezer.

– 38 C is the frrezing temperature of mercury.

– 63 C is the coldest temperature recorded in Canada (Feb.3, 1947 at Snag, Yukon)

– 79 C is the temperature of dry ice.

– 89.2 C is the coldest temperature recorded on Earth, (July 21, 1983, at Vostock II, Antarctica

– 150 C is the average night temperature on the moon

– 196 C is the temperature of liquid nitrogen (perfect for freezing liquid metal Terminators)

– 218 C is the freezing point of oxygen

– 228 C to 238 C is the average surface temperature on Pluto, (the planet, not the dog, however Mickey swears that Minnie can get much colder)

– 270 C is the estimated coldest temperature in deep space

– 272 C is the freezing point of helium

– 273.16 C is absolute zero. All atomic motion comes to a standstill. In 2003, MIT scientists cooled sodium gas to the lowest temperature yet recorded – only a half-a-billionth of a degree above absolute zero.

(and yet it’s impossible to find a cold beer in July)

Right now, counting wind chill and time of night we’re looking at about -30 C outside. Colder than a household freezer. Grab your scarf and bundle up. Better yet, stay the hell at home.

It’s late, and I’ve got a manuscript to get to. Talk to you folks later.

Yours in horror,

Steve Vernon

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