Tag Archives: writing

Spam-it-up Fridays!!!

Attention. Attention. I would like to post the longest piece of creative spam to ever appear upon the Internet today.

(someone call up the Guinness Foundation and ask them to send me a cold one…)

So – what will I spam?

Well, I’ve got some beans in the refrigerator. Spam does go AWFULLY good with beans. But I don’t have a tin of Spam – and I don’t feel like stomping out through the blizzard to buy myself a tin of Spam at the grocery – and besides, I’m pretty certain that Robin isn’t REALLY talking about that high-caloric greasy-sweet salted-to-perfection pack-the-clotted-fat-around-your-arteries-and-wait-to-die goodness that men call SPAM.

Naw, she’s talking about the phrase that we Facebook Group followers have come to fear and loathe…BUY MY BOOK!

But hey – it’s Spam-it-up Friday – and I REALLY want to tell you about this book I wrote.

I really do. I’m going to burst if I don’t tell it to you.

Don’t make me burst on you!

The book is called TATTERDEMON.

All right – so it isn’t FREE.

It isn’t even CHEAP.

But it is nearly 400 pages cram-pack-loaded with pure scarecrow entertainment.

It is a wild exciting no-holds-barred hayride through a field of indescribable horror.

So let me try and describe it to you!

Imagine you’ve just killed your husband. Your loud-mouth bullying abusive husband. What, you’re a guy? Work with me. Imagine you’re a woman and you’ve just killed your husband – on account of the man was really just too mean and stupid to let live for moment longer.

Only problem is, you’ve gone and buried him in a field that is cursed by a witch who was unjustly murdered and buried in that very same field – THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO!

Now – anyone who has ever read a horror novel or seen a horror movie KNOWS damn well that if you go and execute and bury somebody unjustly – well, sooner or later they’re going to come back at you. We’re talking rise up from the dead – and before you get to squawking something along the lines of “OH MY DEAR-DYING-GOD not another spud-stomping zombie novel! Somebody kill me and raise me back up and kill me again before I read another word!” – think again.

This isn’t your granddaddy’s zombie novel.

This isn’t a zombie novel AT ALL!

It’s scarecrows.

Got it?

So what if that husband – we’ll call him Vic, on account of that’s what his name is – rises up from the dead? Along with the spirit of your father – the same one that your mother killed for reasons of her own – rises up in spirit-form along with Vic? What if that witch comes back and what if everything that was EVER killed or buried or just-plain-died in that field starts coming back?

Then you throw into that mix a couple of spree-killing convicts, a voodoo-practicing sheriff’s deputy, a peeping-tom postal worker, an anorexic ex-circus fat woman, a sheriff who has got a secret hidden in his downstairs freezer, a broken-hearted ex-marine trucker who is terrified of his ex-wife and Earl Toad – the world’s shortest action hero and things REALLY begin to heat up.

Well – things are just naturally bound to get exciting – now aren’t they?

Now – be honest with yourself – if you find yourself the least bit intrigued by this description – or even the least bit amused by this cathartic rant of pure undiluted liquid Spam – (now there’s a concept!) – or even the least bit sorry for my poor rusted out backbone that is going be tested by another bout of snow-shoveling later today or possibly even tonight – why don’t you give in to the spirits of Spam Almighty and go and buy yourself a copy of this here e-book.

It’s available on Kindle.

You can also hunt it up on Kobo.

The damn book has been sunk beneath the radar and I could REALLY use a burst of sales right about now to kickstart this puppy into going viral – SO SHARE THIS POSTING AND GO AND BUY YOURSELF A COPY OF TATTERDEMON today!

http://www.amazon.com/TATTERDEMON-ebook/dp/B0081UEXPE

It is also available on Kobo for all of you wonderful Kobo wielders!

http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Tatterdemon/book-2UgrygnVO0eCN47XmyEKZQ/page1.html?s=vmkj5EeFhU-dYopTQyQ8kA&r=1

 

Tatterdemon II - Kindle Cover - Text Trial (3)

 

 

So – how do you like your Spam???

 

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

How do Reviews Sell Books???

Okay – so I said I was not going to post a new blog entry tonight – but here it is anyway.I was just over at Kindleboards and somebody asked the following question.

I’m just curious. I just published my first e-book last Saturday and I really have no idea how the whole review thing works. I keep seeing on various sites how I should be encouraging people who have bought the book to write reviews.

How do reviews affect sales?

Thanks!

(PS: I removed the smiley – because this is a VERY serious blog – with no puns or wisecracks or smiley icons – and only the occasional fart-joke)

AND – because I was posting on Kindleboards I referred primarily to Amazon – but this holds true for e-books on Kobo, Nook and any other kind of e-book distributor – OR FOR THAT MATTER – for traditionally published books, as well.

So – how do reviews affect sales?

Reviews help in an AWFUL lot of ways.

I can think of FOUR good reasons – right off of the top of my brain pan.

Here goes -

1 – A good review is a natural encouragement. Say somebody stumbles onto your book over at Amazon and is thinking about buying it. Having a few SOLID reviews on there help encourage that “stumbling reader” to actually reach for that “BUY NOW” button.

2 – I am also told that a certain number of good reviews can help with your author ranking – depending on the vagaries of the Amazon buzz-machine.

3 – Certain promotional websites – such as Pixels of Ink – DEMAND a certain amount of reviews before they will consider publicizing your e-book on their website.

4 – A good review on an independent blog/website/magazine is – basically – an unpaid for advertisement. I’ve bought quite a few books in the past just because I read a good review in my favorite magazine. Every good review published anywhere else other than Amazon represents another chance for your book to be discovered by a hungry reader.

Word-of-mouth is one of the single greatest factors towards creating more sales.

The best way to think about it is that every single review is basically one more person – other than yourself – standing up in the middle of the internet telling the world to go buy your book!

If you want to read the WHOLE thread over at Kindleboards just click right here!

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

Why e-authors still need to get their work in print…

Back on cyber-Monday I purchased myself and my wife a brand-new Kobo Mini.

Kobo Mini

 

 

 

It’s a $79.99 device and was offered that one day for $49.99. So I ordered two of them. And I ordered the cases for them. We’ll open them up at Christmas and I will finally embrace the new e-age.

I figure that it is about time I did.  I’ve been writing e-books for over a year – with nearly two dozen e-books out in “print”.

So I darn well better own me an e-reader.

But not everybody uses the e-reader they get.

I know several people who have bought e-readers and just haven’t found the time nor need nor desire to use them more than once or twice. Some of them can’t figure out how to use the device. Others find it simpler to just pick up a book. And then others never read in the first place – and are given e-books by concerned relatives under the mistaken that simply having a battery attached to the device is going to turn a non-reader into a reader-gone-wild.

There’s probably a dirty joke in their somewhere – but let’s rise above that shall we???

This failure-to-adapt is not an uncommon phenomenon.

According to a recent survey – over a third of the e-readers that are given at Christmas are only used once.

That is an interesting statistic.

Let’s face it – some of us deal with change a little slower than others.

Heck, it took me this long to realize that I should be spelling it eReader rather than e-reader.

The truth of it is – a lot of us want to OWN an eReader, but that doesn’t mean we will use it!

Having a hard time swallowing that? Just think of that last treadmill/exercisebike/Bowflex that you bought on New Years Day three years ago. You know, that thing that you use as a coat rack?

You had to own that, too – now didn’t you?

So – this is why all of us indie e-book authors need to NOT forget about paperback format.

The fact is – the paperback still continues to sell. The publishing world is being modified by the assault of the digital – but that doesn’t mean that we can all start relegating our paperbacks to granddaddy’s dustified attic.

No sir, no ma’m.

People STILL want to read paperbacks.

I know that.

You ought to know that too!

So my next step throughout 2013 is going to be getting more e-books out there – but likewise getting those e-books into paperback format.

Which brings me to CreateSpace. This, as far as I can see – is the best way of getting your paperbacks in print and in distribution.

So how is it done?

Well – I haven’t done it yet – haven’t even started learning – but I wanted to hand you over to a blog entry I found that was VERY VERY interesting and informative.

Check out Lynne Cantwell’s My Journey To The Center of CreateSpace.

This will give you some important information on how to go about getting your e-books into paperback format.

I’ll let you know by the end of January how my journey into CreateSpace works out. I’m backed up with all kinds of demands and obligations – but I intend to see at least ONE of my e-books into paperback format at that time.

In the meanwhile – here are a couple of more really informative blogs that you might want to read.

Writing Like It’s 2009!

How To Get Started Selling Fiction in 2013!

The Five Stages of a Writer’s Growth!

That’s all for now.

Don’t neglect your eReaders…

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

 

Setting your e-book free…

All right – so let’s open this blog post with a commercial.

As of November 20, FLASH VIRUS: EPISODE ONE has been absolutely free in Kindle format.

I’ve climbed to #306 on the FREE IN KINDLE list and have moved over 937 952 TWO THOUSAND free copies – as of December.

If anyone hasn’t downloaded a copy – do me a favor and grab one today.

http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-One-ebook/dp/B009UD51DY/ref=pd_ybh_4

*****

So, how did I do that? Did I spam all over Facebook?

Well, some. I put up a posting at several of the groups that I follow as well as many FREE E-BOOK and FREE KINDLE Facebook sites that I could possibly find.

I likewise poked a bit through several free e-book lists that I will share with you.

Beyond that I cannot be any more specific.

I’d LOVE to be able to sit guru-like upon my lop-sided office chair which is killing the heck out of my 54 year old spinal column – and tell you all of the secrets of the independent publishing universe.

Only I can’t.

The truth is I am just figuring this out as I go – and, as I am NOT a particularly organized fellow I haven’t kept enough careful records to be able to tell you just WHICH free Kindle website brought on the deluge of free downloads – but I haven’t done that either.

Basically, I applied the shotgun pasta technique. I fired a whole lot of pasta at the wallboards and waited to see which one stayed stuck.

(which is one heck of a seriously mangled metaphor)

So, without further ado, let me offer up to you a list of some of the freebie sites that I hit.

I didn’t hit all of them. I don’t have that much time to apply to that sort of dedicated marketing. And, not all of them fit my needs.

Pick through and find the website that suits you. Submit your next freebie to it for publicity. Some of them will ask for a bit of money. Use your judgement. Don’t spend any more money than you can afford to squander – because there is NO telling which particular bit of advertising is going to work for you.

Try poking through these lists.

Try here

Or here.

Or HERE!

And finally, try here!

***

Try all that and see what helps. There are a lot more free books out there than ever and a new indie writer is going to have a hard time rising through all that clutter and getting anywhere close to the top ten – where a LOT more people will notice your work and (hopefully) begin buying some of it.

Anybody come across other helpful pages let me know and I’ll post them on up here. These four were taken from a VERY helpful Kindle Boards thread.

(and if you are trying to peddle Kindle e-books and HAVEN’T joined up with Kindle Boards – kindly tell me what the heck you are thinking – and/or drinking???)

***

It those links help then download a copy of FLASH VIRUS: EPISODE ONE - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-One-ebook/dp/B009UD51DY/ref=pd_ybh_4

if they REALLY helped – or if you’re just feeling sorry for my fifty-four year old spinal column and the tilted office chair it must sit upon – then why not shell out ninety-nine cents on FLASH VIRUS: EPISODE TWO - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-Two-ebook/dp/B009YW6X7O/ref=pd_ybh_9

Episode Two is sitting at the 59,711 Paid Kindle List rank. I’ve actually moved a few copies during those five days but I’m hoping that some of these almost 1000 readers who picked up a free copy of Flash Virus: Episode One will feel interested enough in the storyline to go and pick up Episode Two.

Episode Three is also available - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-Three-ebook/dp/B00A8OB7IC/ref=pd_ybh_7 – and is currently ranked at 116,044 in the Paid Kindle List rank.

For those of you folks who are unfamiliar with that ranking system – try and think of it as a top million bestselling list. Basically, right now Episode Two is the 59,711th bestselling Kindle e-book in the Amazon system.

I’ll be interested in seeing if the rankings change much in the next few days – but I won’t waste too much time sitting and wondering. Right now I am getting back to work on Episode Four.

Interestingly enough I have moved 11 more copies of FLASH VIRUS: EPISODE ONE in the fifteen minutes or so that it took me to write this blog entry.

Just remember, we’re in all the same boat together.

Here’s to deeper water and fatter fish.

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

Why I Hate Cell Phones…

I’m fifty-four years old and I have NEVER owned a cell phone.

Don’t want one.

Don’t need one.

They freaking scare me.

Did you ever see that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the entire crew of the star ship Enterprise is addicted to a game that you play by spinning bulls-eye Frisbees into coral reef tubas?

 

It was one of the creepier episodes – and if you can’t remember it just click that image and read all about it at Wikipedia.

Every time that I see some person walking down the sidewalk with their gaze firmly fixed on their palms – in which they are gently cradling some sort of cell phone – with a focus akin to the world’s last priest blessing the world’s last crucifix before going into toe-to-toe battle with a a star ship full of vampires – I feel a little shiver of apprehension.

I wonder to myself how long it has been since that person – who seems so all mightily hypnotized by that rinky-tink gadget in his hand – has heard a bird singing in the trees above his head. How long since they have actually smiled and/or conversed with a living human being – rather than a weird tinny voice coming out of some Tic-Tac shaped mechanism in the palm of his hand.

How long since they actually looked up to watch where the traffic is coming from?

I sit next to those cell phone people on the bus and I can almost hear the whispering commands of Uncle Big Brother whispering into their pixel-soaked cerebellums – do what I tell you, do what I tell you.

They scare me.

I guess they scared Stephen King, too – which is why he wrote CELL. But I’m sorry, I feel he humped the bad bone on that particular novel. It started out wonderfully and then it just got stranger and stranger until I began to wonder just what sort of a cell phone old Mr. King was listening to while he wrote that bit of toilet paper.

I know some of you liked it. Don’t worry, I don’t take it personally. Reading is still one of the greatest exercises of personal taste that can be imagined – although even that is being undermined by such uber-selling phenomena-books such as FIFTY SHADES OF OH MY GOD!!!

And there – I’ve gone and insulted some other readers.

Nobody ever tried to tell you that my IQ ranked above the double-digits.

But, like I said, cell phones scare me.

I blame Gene Roddenberry.

Let’s face it – ever since the first Trekkie saw Captain Kirk flip open his communicator and say “Beam me up, Scotty.” – mankind has been all lathered up over the thought of being able to do that. It was only a matter of time before we were all flipping our cellphones and trying hard not to let on that we really all were thinking about Captain Kirk.

All right, so some of you might have been thinking about Uhura – but you get my point.

Now I don’t want anyone out there to get the idea that I am some sort of a Luddite. Hell, I am keeping a blog, aren’t I? I’ve got e-books and I want an e-reader and I really truly love my DVR service.

But there is something that is inherently eerie about the notion of my butt pocket ringing at me in the middle of the day.

Which is why I started my latest e-book with the line – “So as near as I could tell the end of the world began roughly about the time that Billy Carver’s butt rang about halfway through the War of 1812.”

And if you were reading this blog on a DVR this would be the time that you’d want to fast-forward through the commercials – because that is exactly what I am about to hit you with.

A freaking commercial.

 

 

Episode Two is now available on Kindle and Kobo.

It costs a mere ninety-nine cents – the exact same as Episode One. I’m not trying to get rich here. I’m just trying to get this story out there to as many people as I can.

Still, I get rich, you won’t hear me crying about it. I’ll bear up to it as manfully as I can. You’ll whisper to yourself – my God, how does that man put up with all those millions of dollars he has earned? You’ll be astounded at how I stand tall amongst my heap of plunder. You’ll be so astounded that you’ll want to tell all your friends and so – most likely you will do just that!

On your cell phone.

Beam up a copy of FLASH VIRUS EPISODE ONE  from Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-One-ebook/dp/B009UD51DY

Or, if you’re in the UK hit your phaser button and set it to - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flash-Virus-Episode-One-ebook/dp/B009UD51DY

Or if you’re into Kobo put the Vulcan Death Lock on - http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Flash-Virus-Episode-One/book-YDeVCTJbIk2NEp4ccXfybg/page1.html?s=-1n-7FK_b0exbHdBFaD4yQ&r=3

Got that?

Then chart a course back to Amazon.com and charge a plasma torpedo with - http://www.amazon.com/Flash-Virus-Episode-Two-ebook/dp/B009YW6X7O/ref=pd_rhf_dp_p_t_1

Or in the UK take a good stiff swallow of bootleg Romulan Ale and sink into this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flash-Virus-Episode-Two-ebook/dp/B009YW6X7O/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_t_3

Lastly – for you Kobo-holics – take your shuttle craft out for a spin and Kling-on to this - http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Flash-Virus-Episode-Two/book-B6fZtUgL0kWjTciKY_CkIg/page1.html?s=LxxKJLC91U6hMrAfyHroTg&r=2

If you’ve got second thoughts on this matter – well just pull up the sneak-peek sample and try it on for size.

Tell them your cell phone sent you.

 

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

TESSERACTS 17 – How Anthologies Work…

It is going to be a hectic month.

As you know from yesterday’s blog post – my middle-grade novel SINKING DEEPER has made it to the short list of the 2013 Silver Birch Award. That isn’t until the spring – but I’m already got a LOAD of preliminary work to do.

Besides that – it’s October. Means my busiest month of the year.

Let me tell you about the rest of the week.

This morning in a couple of hours I am off to entertain the kids at the Halifax Grammar School. They are having a HUGE Book Fair – put on by one of my favorite local bookstores – namely, WOOZLES. I’ll be telling stories to kids from primarty to Grade 1 – ALWAYS a challenge.

Then I grab dinner and head to work for a solid night shift.

Tomorrow I do get a morning to myself. I have a whack-load of correspondence to get to. I need to go through a few more submissions for TESSERACTS 17 – (more on that in my next blog entry)

Then off to work for a night shift. I am being picked up at the office at the end of the shift and driven to Annapolis Royal where I’ll spend the night. Friday morning I will give a short but intensive writing/storytelling workshop to two groups of high school kids.  Then a drive home and a little bit more quiet steady breathing.

Saturday is Election Day. I might end up voting online – but I don’t like that idea one bit. I don’t like the idea that we are eventually putting all of those seniors who come out every election and work a few hours out of work.

Then I catch a bus to Bayers Lake for a book signing at the Chain Lake Chapters outlet from 2:30-4:00pm.

Wheee.

But you didn’t open this blog entry to hear me whine, did you?

Let me tell you about anthologies…

Let me tell you about the anthology that I am working on as an editor.

Namely, TESSERACTS 17

Here’s the link to the guidelines if you haven’t checked it out yet.

http://www.edgewebsite.com/books/tess17/t17-catalog.html

We are a little behind schedule on turning around stories for TESSERACTS 17 – and by “we” I mean “me”. I am – I’m afraid – very definitely the weak link in our editorial team. My colleague Colleen Anderson has been NOTHING but the absolute epitome of organization.

I, sadly, am the definite Yang to Colleen’s professional Yin.

(Mmm, that sounds like a good title for a movie – “The Bitter Tea of Professional Yin”)

We are getting set to send out the first wave of rejections – which, as always, means that it is a good sign if you haven’t heard back from us yet. Means you might have made the “Maybe” pile.

You see – that is how most anthologies wind up working. The editor – or editors – will cull through the slush heap of submissions and will set them into three piles.

Pile One is the “this just doesn’t work for us” – which can be either “Oh my god I need to cut my nose off and feed it to my bulldog ‘cuz this story stinks so bad” – or, more often what it means is “Oh my god you sent a “haunted hat” story to an anthology built around “haunted shoe” stories”.

Pile Two is the “Maybe, baby” pile – which is where the editor will put the stories that might fit – “Okay, this guy is writing about haunted socks – which is pretty close to haunted shoes”.

Pile Three is the “If we don’t buy this story RIGHT NOW we might as well load a bulldog full of cut-off noses and haunted shoes and blow our collective editorial brains all over Pile One and Pile Two”. This is DEFINITELY the pile that you want your story to land upon – but it is DEFINITELY the shortest pile in the entire process. Editors don’t want to take that big leap right away – just because if they say YES-YES-YES to the first twenty stories that are submitted they might miss out on a truly wonderful story that comes in on the very last day of submission.

So we hold off. We play hard to get. We like to keep you guessing.

So – if you haven’t heard from us here at Tesseracts 17 yet – maybe that’s a good sign. Maybe you are on Pile Three – or at the very least Pile Two – unless maybe we’ve fed your story to the bulldog.

So – what are we looking for here at TESSERACTS 17.

Well, for starters – we are looking for CANADIAN authors.

Here it is – right from the guidelines.

“The Tesseracts anthology series is only open to submissions from Canadians, landed immigrants living in Canada, long time residents of Canada, and Canadian expatriates living abroad.”

Might I also add – NO MULTIPLE SUBMISSIONS. You send us a story – send us your best one – and we’ll look it over. We like it, we’ll keep it. I was just kidding about the bulldog. But you send us two stories at the same time and we’ll get confused trying to decide which one to keep. Means we’ll most likely wind up shooting both of them right back at you.

So rule two – DO NOT CONFUSE THE EDITORS.

Put one foot forward. One story, one poem – let us read it. Don’t try to swamp us with your entire back catalogue of three hundred and sixty-eight trunk stories – no matter how wonderful your Mom thinks they are.

Lastly – let me tell you what I am looking for.

This is me talking – not my colleague Colleen – and not Brian Hades, our boss of all bosses.

This is me – the dude with the beard.

I would love to see a few stories that say “I AM CANADIAN”.

Some Canadian settings, some Canadian characters – something that tells the reader that he has picked up a copy of TESSERACTS – a by-god collection of Canadian speculative fiction.

That’s on my wish list.

Now I’ve got to get ready to go to school.

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

PS: If you’d REALLY like to get an idea on what TESSERACTS is all about pick up a copy of TESSERACTS 16. And definitely take a look at my story “Three Thousand Miles of Cold Iron Tears” – which involves Bigfoot, the ghost of Sam Steele and the building of the Canadian Railroad – if you’d like to get a better idea about how I truly think.

order here - http://www.amazon.ca/Tesseracts-Sixteen-Parnassus-Mark-Leslie/dp/1894063929

Or here - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1894063929/edgescienceficti

or here (for Kobo) - http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Tesseracts-Sixteen/book-e2V4rvKmiUOZkGXBdPzpyw/page1.html?s=msvvDDaOlka8xxG9qDqyTQ&r=1

or here (for Kindle) - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009DK6UHK/edgescienceficti

Author Style Cooking…

It’s been a hectic morning.

I got up early and made a man’s breakfast for my wife. She’s a dance and fitness instructor and Saturdays are particularly busy.

I chopped up a fat old onion and a couple of leftover potatoes and fried them up nice and crispy. Meanwhile, I grated some cheese into cracked four eggs.

Scooped the potatoes and onions out of the pan.

Drop some bread into the toaster.

Run upstairs with a good cup of coffee and set it on her bedside just as the alarm goes off.

Run downstairs and throw the eggs and cheese into the pan.

Good eating.

Then, after I got home from the groceries I cut up some chicken and sizzled it with a little olive oil, garlic and butter in the bottom of my largest pot. Then I chopped a couple of good red potatoes, a yellow zucchini, an onion, and threw them in on top of the browning chicken. Then I dumped in a bag of baby carrots – which are usually just regular carrots whittled down – and drained a can of chick peas and chucked them. Dumped two cartons of broth on top. Sometimes I like to make my own broth but I was in a hurry today.

Lastly, I let the whole mess sit and simmer – maybe until dinner, maybe until supper – at the lowest possible temperature. I can smell it up here while I type and MAN – it sure smells good.

I call it peasant soup.

I wrote the recipe while I was grocery shopping.

I cook this again it will most likely be different.

But still taste good.

 

Do you see how easy that all sounds – because it is. Hacked up chicken, hacked up vegetables and simmer in a pot. Cooking isn’t all that hard. Take what you have and throw it in a pot.

Writing a blog entry is just that easy as well.

I take what I have and I throw it in a pot.

Right after this I have to get back to working on a manuscript for a YA novel. I’m about 36000 words into what should wind up at about 50000.

How am I doing it?

I’m slicing up what I’ve got…

…and throwing it into a pot to simmer.

yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

Interview with Author Steve Vernon

Here’s a brand new interview with me – for those folks who haven’t tired of hearing me talk about myself .

Interview with Author Steve Vernon.

 

 

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon

PITCH THE PUBLISHER…

Back in 2004 our local Word on the Street festival decided to hold a “Pitch the Publisher” session – inviting three maritime publishers to sit in judgement – ala Dragons Den and/or Shark Tank – over the pitches of several dozen local writers.

The deal was that you got about three minutes to stand up and tell those publishers just why they could not go on living without publishing your next book.

I was one of those first-pitch writers.

***

About this time last year I was asked for an interview for a local literary magazine. They were doing a feature on PITCH THE PUBLISHER – and they wanted to interview me about my experiences at the very first Halifax Word on the Street PITCH THE PUBLISHER sessions.

Unfortunately, I was sick at the time they asked me – pneumonia, if I recollect – which is my way of saying that I fumbled the ball. By the time I had returned the answers to their interview I was too late for the magazine deadline.

So this interview – never before published – is appearing here today.

I’m posting this because they have just opened the gates for applications to this year’s PITCH THE PUBLISHER session –  http://www.atlanticpublishers.ca/news-events/entry/pitch-the-publisher-registration-opens-september-10/ - and I figure a lot of local writers might benefit from my experience.

***

 

PITCH THE PUBLISHER

 

One Success Story

 

Why did you decide to first participate in Pitch the Publisher?

 

I got into writing back in the mid-80’s and had grown accustomed and frustrated with the entire process of dealing with your editors through slow tedious snailmail. This is a hard concept for some young writers to wrap their heads around but there was a time when writers had to buy postage stamps in bulk. We had to know what an SASE was. We had to get used to waiting weeks and weeks to hear back from an editor or a publisher. E-mail has changed all that. I can get online and talk to a publisher in minutes – if the wind is blowing in the proper direction. But there was still a feeling of distance. I saw the Pitch the Publisher session as a solid gold opportunity to meet with these mysterious beings that I had been corresponding with for so many years. It was a little like a holy man getting an interview with God.  Finally, I had the chance to look them in the eye and grin at them.

 

Did you present an idea, or did you have a manuscript completed?

 

I had nothing but an idea – which is probably the worst way to go into a Pitch the Publisher session. But I was armed with an uncanny sense of self confidence, honed by years of live storytelling. When you get up in front of an audience, seeking to entertain, you require an inordinate amount of moxie and chutzpah. Making the pitch was nothing more than telling these folks a story about what I wanted to write. At the end of the pitch one of the publishers asked me if I was some kind of a stand-up comedian. I took that as a good omen.

 

What did you get out of it the first time?

 

What did I get out of it? A shot at a publishing contract. A chance to hear how publishers actually think. All of that and some funny smelling stains beneath my armpits.

 

How did you feel about the experience?

 

It was nerve wracking, make no mistake about that. But it was also entertaining and highly educational. I hunkered down and sat for the whole morning taking in as many pitches as I could. Getting the opportunity to hear how publishers think is invaluable in the submission process. Pitch the Publisher gave me the opportunity to hear what publishers were looking for and what they definitely were not looking for. This insight gave me a fresh perspective on how I wanted to package my initial submission.

 

What happened next?

 

I met with Sandra McIntyre, who was then the head editor at Nimbus. She told me what she was looking for and then I went home to write it. We started with a few sample stories to give her an idea of my style. Then I went on to put the whole book together. We went through about six title and cover changes before coming up with Haunted Harbours. The title was my idea – but believe you me, I had a whole lot of ideas back then. Originally, the book was to have been called A Chowder of Ghosts – which isn’t bad but might lead potential buyers to imagine that they are getting themselves a cookbook, rather than a collection of ghost stories. They edited it until the pages looked bloodstained and I went home and corrected every one of the goof-ups that they’d caught me at. There were an awful lot of goof-ups, let me tell you. Then I handed it back. They looked at it some more. There was another bout of slashing edits that I had to endure. More corrections.

 

Finally, it was done.

 

Your pitch was picked up by Nimbus–how did this happen?

 

I remember this clearly. Two publishers were looking at it – Formac and Nimbus. They kind of talked it over and flipped a coin and decided that I should go with Nimbus. In hindsight I am intensely grateful that that invisible coin fell the way it did. Nimbus has been absolutely wonderful to work with. I see me working with them for a lot of years to come. I still might like to work with a YA specific publisher – simply because I am a greedily practical kind of man and the thought of four steady royalty checks a year makes me giggle like a giddy little school girl.

 

What was the process like pitching your second book to Nimbus? How did this compare to the Pitch the Publisher experience?

 

The second book was easier to pitch. By the time I approached Nimbus, the first book had sold a couple thousand copies and they felt that it was time to move ahead with another book. I suggested a follow-up collection to Haunted Harbours and they counter-suggested me trying my hand at a collection of stories from New Brunswick – which resulted in my second collection, Wicked Woods.

 

What do you have to say to the aspiring (or closeted) writers contemplating making a pitch? One piece of sound advice that would equip one with for their big moment?

 

Let me quote you from an e-mail of advice I wrote my sister-in-law when she was taking part in Pitch the Publisher.

 

Stand up and speak clearly.

 

Be ready for questions like – What is your book about? Have a short explanation ready. Think about the blurb you might read on your television schedule about an upcoming movie. You’ll also be asked why you think that you are the person to write this book. Have an answer ready. Be ready to hit them with your answers like a gunfighter drawing his pistol. Think fast and aim for accuracy.

 

Other questions that you will be asked include – What is your market? Who can we sell this book too? 

 

Be clear, concise and confident.  Be yourself. Above all else have fun.

***

So that’s it. That’s the interview. I hope it helps some.

For any writers in the maritime area who do not make the time to attend WORD ON THE STREET this year – do yourself and bend over and kick yourself twice, hard.

WORD ON THE STREET is our maritime equivalent of Woodstock. I make it a point to attend every year. Actually, I was a participant in the original Word On The Street. I stood on Spring Garden Road on a milk carton, shouting poetry to those folks who cared to listen.

The milk carton didn’t break.

I was thinner back then.

I also told pirate stories at a storytelling corner and read a horror story at a local science fiction group’s table.

I’ve always had a great time at Word on the Street. I have met wonderful people, heard amazing words, bought heaps of books and just plain had fun.

Which is what this whole life is supposed to be – isn’t it?

Fun.

I’ll be there this year at WORD ON THE STREET – reading from my brand new collection MARITIME MURDER.

 

 

 

For more information on this year’s WORD ON THE STREET festival go to their website.

http://www.thewordonthestreet.ca/wots/halifax

They usually update that page at the very last minute – so keep an eye on it for current developments.

I am scheduled to read at the “Open Book” stage from 4:00 – 4:30 with a signing following that.

I hope to be signing my books throughout the day at a couple of other unannounced locations.

I’ll keep you all posted.

Yours in storytelling,

 

Steve Vernon

 

Should Writers Pay For Their Reviews?

All right.

So I lied in my last post. I do have something to blog about. And, as per usual, it resulted from an encounter with somebody else’s blog site.

Today I am replying to an article over at Joel Friedlander’s THE BOOK DESIGNER on whether or not writers should pay for their book reviews.

Here’s my reply.

 

$$$$$

 

I was a professional book reviewer for about two years – selling my reviews to several magazines and websites. I was paid from ten to twenty dollars per review – BY THE PUBLISHER.

I did it for pocket money.

I did it for the access to free books.

The author NEVER had to pay anybody beyond being willing to supply an arc – which was often supplied by their own publisher.

That’s the way it needs to be done. That’s the way it works.

I give up the business – partly because I was getting asked to read more and more books that I just plain didn’t want to read in the first place.

Life was too damn short to read bad books for money.

As far as writers buying reviews – it strikes me as a bad practice. Number one – it destroys any form of credibility. If the practice spreads – which it probably might – the average book review is going to be about as believable as a YOU-CAN-EARN-BIG-MONEY-JUST-BY-SITTING-AT-HOME-ON-YOUR-BUTT classified ad.

Besides all that – most of those paid-for five-star reviews are duller than nine day old toe jam. I mean, have you read some of them?

“I liked this book. It holds up my coffee table real well.” – FIVE STARS

“I loved this book. In fact, I traded my wife for it. Wish I hadn’t gone and lost that book in divorce court.” – FIVE STARS

“Boox r kul. Du U reed boox? I redd this buk and it wuz kul.” – FIVE STARS

So – should writers buy reviews?

They’d be further off investing their loose change in the nickle slots at their local bowling alley.

 

$$$$$

 

Let’s face it friends and neighbors. As a writer I am trying to make money by entertaining folks – not make some fly-by-night shady back alley book reviewer a little richer.

If you’d like to read the whole article check it out here.

http://www.thebookdesigner.com/2012/08/should-authors-pay-for-book-reviews/

 

And, let me tell you – if you want to learn something about writing and/or self-publishing your work you really need to be following that site.

 

Lastly I should mention that I point readers to websites like this all of the time over at Twitter. So if you’re looking to find out more about this art you really ought to follow me at Twitter

@StephenVernon

 

 

Yours in storytelling,

Steve Vernon